15

kaththepoet

new Hope

kaththepoet

There was true love coming

Strong and thick

It pursued and approached,

Ready to take her heart

But she was not ready-

There was so much to do to prepare

First she had to have her heart broken

A dozen times

The cracks and fractures left

Bruises and dents

But from these marks she grew strong

She gained resilience and vision

She found that no matter how many times she fell,

She got back up, stronger and faster each time

Next there was so much clutter-

Gnawing insecurities that threatened her chances of love

These had to be carefully and individually selected-

Brought to light, revealed as the lies they were

Her eyes had to be opened and re-opened

Her teenage image of ugliness and unworthiness deconstructed

And at twenty three a new monument stood before her

This image was imperfect

Yet looked upon with a sense of affection

“Flaws” became “quirks”

Embarrassing memories became great stories

Shame leaked out as the black poison it is

And the image was instead surrounded by a soft pink light of Protection

Then there were the boundary issues-

The guilt-driven impulse to please everyone, to exhaust herself

Using her body as a slave to carry out an impossible agenda

She had to talk herself out of these thoughts about a thousand or more times-

It never got easier,

But it did become doable.

And so the layers peeled back- abstract and elusive as they were

They shrunk and fled, screaming,

Knowing more as the days went by-

That they were not welcome

And then there were the ghosts

The past loves and loneliness-fillers who filled the halls, cramping and overwhelming the small space of her heart

She had to speak out at them,
“Enough. I’ve had enough of you all.”

And in their place

An unshakeable foundation-

The spirit that brings forth only Light and Love

The caring Creator

He had quietly asked to be placed at the center

He had murmured offers of peace and rest

He had given her visions of warmth and comfort in His arms

But she had to deny Him time after time

Until one day she finally broke

Tired of the anxiety and the shame and the storms

She collapsed, and a single word sang out

“Yes.”

And she discovered, His was the love

She had longed for all along.

Alleluia!

A new Hope was planted

And grew fervently.

9/27/15

amycimorelli

Social media is so hard to use in small doses. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the cycle. “ OMG WHAT ARE THEY DOING OMG WHO ARE THEY WITH” it can get hard to separate my life from all these highlights reals and public facades. I wonder what people think when they look at mine? (That was off topic) how do I just let go and stop checking up in all these people. It’s like I care so much about what they’re doing with their life. It doesn’t effect my life at ALL. I shouldn’t even know what some random girl had for breakfast, or if two people I have never met are dating each other. It’s so weird. So many people constantly putting their lives on display. Trying to show they are worthy. Trying to show people they don’t know and don’t like that they are good. I shouldn’t know all these menial details of people’s lives but I do. It puts my life in such a weird frame. I’m suddenly running it through the highlight lens. It’s like movies are now becoming real life and everyone is starring in their own little show. It’s hard to see so many extraordinary lives out on display. I don’t know. I hate to say this by it makes me question if my existence is valid enough. I am stalking other peoples highlights. I should really just be living my life. Where does it end. What is healthy? These are the questions I ask myself at 2 in the morning when I am stalking the ghosts of my past. I have spent a large part of my life comparing myself to others. Like… I’m not as pretty, I’m not as cool. Omg look who she’s having out with!!! Why doesn’t anybody want to date me?! How does she make her outfits so cool? How do I do that? It’s definitely taken its toll on me. When I compare myself I lose EVERY SINGLE TIME. I use it as a defense to either lower myself (more common) to say I’m not as good as her omg why not?! Or to make myself seem better. (I lose by putting someone of immense value down) here’s the thing. Our minds are made to compartmentalize things. We can’t handle so much information so our brains put things into boxes. We see people and we judge in a split second their whole being based on what we have seen in the past. It’s just how our brains work. Social media has made us even more susceptible to snap judgements. We only see the public face people put on. We don’t see people but screens and comments and views. People are there for us to comment on and be who we want them to be. It’s a very skewed vision of people. Remember online doesn’t show us the whole picture. There’s a whole world out there to explore and experience. 💜❤️🌻⚡️💘

lauren-cim

adflixerim

do you have that one lyric where you have to mentally prepare yourself and when it comes on you’re still and quiet and just let it wash over you and you know that everything will be alright

lauren-cim

You’ll have moments when you feel like a lion, and moments when you feel like a mouse. Just know that no matter how you feel, you still have a heartbeat and a soul worthy of love, so learn to roar even when you feel small, because you are more than the feelings you may have.

T.B. LaBerge // Go Now (via tblaberge)